Different Worlds
by MsBigBad
Summary: Set 3 weeks after Buffy died in "The Gift" Season 5.


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Different Worlds

By: MsBigBad

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Disclaimer: Don't own the show cause if I did it'd be called Spike the Nakie Vampire ( Which would be ideal for sixth season!) or maybe Stripping with Spike! Yum! Yeah I did not just go off to fantasy land! Except for when I did! Yum! Nope curse it! The shows belongs to FOX, Mutant Enemy, and Joss who I love/adore! I don't own Clue or I love Lucy There are being used without permission.

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Rating: PG

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Ship: S/B Why write anything else?

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Spoilers: Through "The Gift" Season 5.

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Archiving: Unless you have prior permission please ask. I'd love for you to host my fic! I just like to know where it goes!

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Summary: This is Spike's POV. It's basically about him realizing that he needs to take care of Dawn because he promised Buffy. At first he's turned everyone away.

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Note: Yes I know I'm obsessed with the time between Season 5 and 6!

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Feedback: I love it! -- join my group at . Or visit my website at .

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Thanks: Lauren for being my muse/best friend/beta for 4 years now! Oh and also for corrupting me! Love ya! You're the greatest! Heather for always making me laugh! Everyone who archives/reviews my fics! Special thanks to Spikes Fashiongrrl for all the praise! All my BigBadHavens members! I love you guys! To Isabelle for inspiring me to write fan fic! Joss and his crew! Thanks for everything! James Marsters for your exceptional talent and yummy ness!! You're my favorite obsession! And thank you! You my readers are what I live for! I hope you like it!

It's been almost 3 weeks since my world descended into hell.

Didn't realize how long it'd been.

Seems it was longer.

I'm so afraid that I'll forget something.

That I won't remember some special little thing she did or that I'll forget one of those faces she always made when she was thinking of something really important or when she was mad at me.

I don't want to forget.

My memories are all I have now.

Sure , I still have some pictures I nicked from her house, some clothes that still carry her scent, but soon a scent will blow away and a picture will fade.

After all who knows how long I'll remain here?

Forever maybe.

I hope not.

The day I forget is the day I'll die.

When I can't remember her smile.

When I can't recall the sparkle in her eyes, the feel of her skin, the sound of her voice.

I don't know how anyone could forget her… but I don't wanna find out.

God, I miss her so much.

Some people say I don't have a heart…and at one time… I thought they were right.

But not now.

Not when I can feel it breaking.

Not when every thought makes me shudder, and every dream is a nightmare.

Every tear is a stake in the heart and every memory is of that night.

Dawn came by today. I told her to go home.

Her eyes were red and she was thinner than normal.

She didn't say anything, but I could hear her heartbeat quicken as she walked away.

She didn't go home.

She headed toward the Magick Box.

Guess the Scoobies are trying to move on.

Goin' back to their old lives, their jobs and classes.

I've got to admit, their stronger than me.

But they've had to deal with the fact that their best friend could die at anytime for 5 years now.

I guess that makes it a little easier, but what do I know they could be feelin' the same way I do.

Wouldn't know.

I haven't seen any of them since that God awful night.

I went for a walk in the cemetery.

Haven't been out of my crypt for about a week and a half.

I didn't make it far the first time.

Got halfway and threw up all the blood, alcohol, and wheat-a-bix's I'd had that day.

Didn't go to the funeral.

Couldn't, it was a daylight ceremony.

I wouldn't have been able to even if it wasn't.

I couldn't bear to see her like that.

I waited in my crypt trying to ignore the priest's words.

Generic descriptions that meant nothing to that man.

He'd probably said some of the same things about others who are gone.

But to everyone who knew her…

They were knives that stabbed at our hearts

And fire that burned our eyes.

I'm glad that they buried her then.

They buried the sun with her.

She liked the sun, and the beach.

This time I made it.

Her name spelled out in gray, cold, hard, stone.

I wasn't alone though.

The bit was there.

This time she told _me _to leave.

A little while after I closed my door she was bursting through it.

Tears streaming down her face, and arms wrapping around my neck.

She's so small now.

So weak.

Sick.

And I remember a promise to a lady.

A promise to protect her, till the end of the world.

The world though has ended for me and Dawn.

It was her life force that kept us alive.

And maybe we took that for granted.

We thought she'd be there.

I should have known better.

I should have known better than anyone how short the life of a slayer was.

But I thought it would be me.

I thought if anyone died that night it would've been me.

I was wrong.

But not a day goes by, not a second even, that I don't wish it was me.

Maybe our world has ended, but Buffy died to save her world and who is to say that her world has ended when Dawn is asleep in my arms right now?

When her friends are still here and the millions of people she saved that night, people that don't even know her name or who she was , are still living, going to work, having children, playing Clue, and watching reruns of "I Love Lucy".

Me and Buffy, we came from different worlds.

Somewhere in-between our worlds met.

I made a promise.

My world has ended…

Hers lives on forever.

The End


End file.
